Penny

Back to School Time

August 20, 2019 by Penny Leave a Comment

Playing in my head, today, as I was thinking about going back to school was;

“School days, school days
Dear old golden rule days
Reading and writing’ and rithmetic
Taught to the tune of the hickory stick”

I looked up the lyrics to find the entire song including…

You were my queen in calico
I was your bashful barefoot beau
And you wrote on my slate, “I love you, Joe”

Considering what I would write about, I decided I didn’t like the outdated hickory stick lyric and I wasn’t keen on talking about girls and boys discovering each other in a new light, so I searched for other songs to reference or give me ideas. Every one of the top ten songs about school had something to say about flirting. The fact is; going to school isn’t just about academics. Not only are kids expected to learn history, biology, math, science and a foreign language; they are expected to adopt a sport and/or instrument and find a first “love”. They juggle family relationships and learn to balance increasing levels of independence while treating adults with respect. That’s a lot of pressure for some kids!

I don’t know about you, but my k-12 days were some of the most stressful of my life. I was raised by a divorced single mom with mini-skirts and go-go boots in a time that divorce and single parent households were seriously frowned upon. Although I was adorable and well liked through most of the second grade, sometime over the summer between second and third grade I got chunky. The picture here is from 3rd grade before I started wearing glasses in fourth grade. In fifth grade my face broke out and during sixth grade it was rumored that my mom was dating one of the sixth grade teachers. Trust me that didn’t help. I had an age appropriate crush on our paper boy. Along with the teacher, the paper boy had a crush on my mom.

Until my freshman year in high school, I was the fat kid with glasses and acne. My social skills were underdeveloped. I wasn’t athletic and frankly, although I currently think of myself as smart, back then I was functioning with undiagnosed dyslexia. My teachers reported home that I wasn’t working up to my potential. I was a little bundled up mess.

I know I’m not the only one who struggled. Knowing what I know today, from an adult perspective, I dream of going back in time to tell that little girl, “You are smart, you just don’t know it yet. You’re the biggest kid in your sixth grade class, but you are as big as you’re going to get. The other kids will keep growing. You will be an average size adult and you’ll be considered pretty.” I would put lavender oil on her feet and vetiver down her spine, play with her hair and help her just relax. We would work on releasing fear and insecurity to embrace strengths and possibilities. I have my grandsons to thank for how well I can visualize caring for my younger self. It’s the way I work at caring for them.

Best Wishes for a Wonderful New School Year!!

Penny

Dads and Essential Oils

July 3, 2019 by Penny Leave a Comment

His Diffuser Blends

Add 2–4 drops of the following essential oil blends in the diffuser while working in the garage or office.

Wintergreen and Cedarwood for confidence and self esteem
Cypress and White Fir for a sense of empowerment
Peppermint or Melissa for a sense of alertness
Lemongrass for an aroma that most men enjoy

I thought a lot last month about single dads.

When folks talk about single parents, they are often referring to single moms. A new single parent ministry just formed in our church. It is focused on moms. I’ve been a single mom and I come from a generation that birthed the bias that single parents are moms. I also come from a generation that told me that I couldn’t stay home with a sick kid because the company’s sick policy was meant for my own illness. I had to risk being fired because my kid had the chicken pox!!

Being a single mom was hard in a time when women were supposed to be homemakers. When I was pregnant, I almost lost my job because I was pregnant. Women were not supposed to have children and work. I had an employer tell me that I didn’t deserve as much money as my male counterparts because I must be getting alimony and child support. I wasn’t. He went on to assume that I had a dad, brother or uncle that was financially supporting me. Sigh. I didn’t even get angry. He wasn’t being mean, he was just that steeped in assumptions and honestly shocked to be wrong. My generation had to juggle through a world full of confusion and change.

Today, women sometimes outpace men in their careers. When women are earning more, sometimes men stay home with the kids. Although that’s rare and most men work, they are taking turns staying home with sick kids and taking responsibility for activities like sports. It short, guys are taking a more active role with their children!! It’s not wise to assume that women are the folks who have the primary responsibility for children or that they are the only ones who currently struggle as single parents.

I have single dads in my life who work hard at parenting alone or co-parenting with an ex. Negotiating parenting techniques is difficult when you’re living under the same roof. It’s even more difficult when there are two roofs. Most of the world assumes that the mom is naturally the better parent. These dads I know rock their parenting role! Sometimes the dad is the more nurturing, loving, guiding and supportive of the parenting team. My dad was. My mom had solid qualities, but when it came to making me feel loved and grounded he took the prize.

Being a single parent, whether it is as a single Mom, or a single Dad, can be very tough. But parenting, in general, is tough. Make sure you build a support system. We all need a little help sometimes. And let your children have some responsibility for getting things done. We don’t have to be super parents. The most important role we play is that of caretaking, teaching and loving our children.

Last, but not least, remember to take care of yourself. Put a little of your favorite essential oil in your diffuser and remember everything good that happened today.

Penny LaClair

Forgiveness

June 11, 2019 by Penny Leave a Comment

“There are people in your life
Who’ve come and gone
They let you down
You know they’ve hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby
‘Cause life goes on
You keep carryin’ that anger
It’ll eat you up inside baby”

Don Henley

By the way, we have an oil for that!

DoTerra Essential oils, forgiveness blend — Promotes feelings of contentment, relief, and patience

Behind my thoughts from yesterday, I thought I’d add what I think is one of life’s most difficult lessons to learn and gain proficiency in, Forgiveness.

The propensity to forgive seems to be tied somewhat to temperament. I only raised one child. So, when it came time to be a grandma to two boys, it was a whole new experience. For those of you who have littles, you know the current method of “time out” discipline. The routine is one minute for every year old, ask if he’s ready to say “I’m sorry”, if yes hug it out and go on with the day. One of the kids got to “I’m sorry” a lot faster than the other one. The one who took the longest hated not getting his way in the first place and it made him doubly angry to be put in a time out. He had to forgive me before he was going to ask me for forgiveness!! The other one was faster to take responsibility for putting himself in the situation, faster to say “I’m sorry”, and the hugging it out part was warmer and more sincere.

I’ve come to learn in the past few years that although I believe I’ve learned to forgive and do it well in most cases, sometimes I struggle. Also, I do things that sometimes causes others consternation while they work out forgiving me. I’m working on letting go of the outcome when someone finds my behavior unforgiveable. The choice someone else makes is entirely beyond my control. Is there such a thing as forgiving someone for not forgiving me? There must be. In those moments when my little guy was struggling with forgiving me, I never stopped loving him. The process was about his growth, not my ego. My prayer is that I can love others the same way I love that little kid, that I can go without forgiveness and continue to yearn for their higher good. As you know, it’s not easy. It’s difficult.

Working through forgiveness or being forgiven is one of those times when you might hear several good suggestions; listen to good music with powerful lyrics and a moving melody, meditate, pray, engage in talk therapy, energy work, or read a great book. Someone may suggest talking it out with the other person or asking for mediation. And, of course, we could apply the Peace and/or Forgive oils which would set our intentions, help our bodies through the process and calm our minds. You heard it coming, but, at the end of the day it isn’t about a simple prescription or silver bullets. There are many options and it takes effort to weed through them and determine what works for you. It takes discipline to keep trying and tenacity to apply the practices that work. The good news is, although life is difficult, living well is definitely worth the effort!

Penny LaClair

What I Call “Want To”

June 10, 2019 by Penny Leave a Comment

Folks tell stories in Facebook posts, blogs, books, talks, etc. to share their experiences in hopes that other can glean something helpful. Leaders tell stories. Jesus told stories, parables. Jesus said, however, some would have ears to hear and eyes to see and some wouldn’t. He also said that we should keep seeking and we would find. Keep knocking and the door would be open. That says to me that everything I see and hear might not be for me in that season. And if we keep seeking and continue in patient pursuit, the right things will come at the right time for us. When reading the thoughts of others, sometimes I’m motivated to action and frankly, other times I’m not. Sometimes even if I like the idea and think I may want to apply the new principle or practice, I don’t “want to” badly enough. Let me explain.

I remember a light bulb moment when I fully understood what I’ve come to call “want to”. I was a single mom dating a gentleman I had some interest in, but he didn’t seem to have any significant interest in my kid. That was a deal breaker for me and we were discussing the impending end to our budding relationship. He kept telling me, “I want to spend time with Phil.” I replied to him with examples of missed opportunities to do just that. The more examples I gave to illustrate my position that he did not want to, the more sad and frustrated he sounded. He sounded like he really wanted to, but I had no physical evidence to support the words or the sounds in his voice. Finally I broke through with, “You want to want to!!!”. Sounding defeated, he replied, “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you”. Wow! Once he realized that, we started going on dates that included Phil to determine if we could progress. This man had never been married, didn’t have kids, and although he liked the idea of kids, he really didn’t “want to” have any. We discovered that forcing a heart-felt “want to” is not possible and the relationship ended. Although painful for all of us at the time, we ended up okay.

Now that we have a illustration of what I mean by “want to”, let me apply it to how I see the flood of stories we take in every day.

Meditative prayer is a big life support for me. There are a few folks in my life who would benefit greatly if they would learn this practice. However, something that comes like breathing to me is hard to them. They see the value, but they don’t have the real “want to” it takes to learn it and put it into practice. And, that’s okay.

Some folks naturally enjoy exercise, I don’t. However, although I have no heart desire to do most exercises, I do want to “want to” do Yoga! Like my peeps above, I believe I could do it if I applied myself and I believe there would be tremendous benefit to my mind and body. The discipline required to learn and practice yoga would take energy. I prioritize and spend my energy the same way I do money. Which means there are other things first on my priorities right now. Currently, I’m investing in establishing a habit of supplements and eating well for my body. And, that’s okay.

The first line in one of my favorite books is, “Life is difficult”. As we take in good ideas that are out there about how to settle our minds and strengthen our bodies, decide for yourself which things are meant for you and keep in mind that you don’t have to do everything at once! Although there is a lot to be said about ease and flow, our lives are not easy. Sometimes just sorting out priorities and finding the want to is difficult. Find the things that bring you en-courage-ment for the journey and know that your best is the best you can do. And, that’s okay.

Blankets of love and blessings,
Penny

Once Upon a Thyme

June 6, 2019 by Penny Leave a Comment

Picking up from my last story where I got sick from not taking care of myself, I decided to get back to business. I spent the day on Saturday making healthy food for the week. After steaming fresh Tuna and making tuna salad, I started on the macaroni salad. I thought I could put a little tuna in the macaroni salad and have a bit of a variety. Since Ron limits his carb intake, that would leave most of the tuna salad for him and all the macaroni salad for me!

After chopping little tomatoes, green onions, celery, hard boiled egg whites, etc. and tossing everything into gluten free macaroni, I made dressing. I already put Just Mayo in the tuna and thought avocado oil and balsamic vinegar flavored with Rosemary and Thyme would be nice in the macaroni. Two drops Rosemary… then, one drop Thyme. Whoops!!! No stopper?! Where did the stopper go!? I poured 1/4 bottle of thyme in the dressing and on the counter. Not wanting to waste anything, I added more oil and vinegar to help balance it out.

The kitchen did not have a nice hint of thyme and rosemary scent. Let me warn you that anything in excess is bad! We fired up the kitchen and living room diffusers with lemon and citrus bliss, put on our suits and hung out in the jacuzzi until the odor died down.

I looked up the health benefits of thyme oil and according to WebMD, thyme is taken by mouth for bronchitis, whooping cough, sore throat, gastritis, and as a diuretic while it disinfects the urine, among other things. For a woman wanting to detox this is all good! My salad is a bit stronger with thyme than intended, but it still tastes good and I’m getting a ton of benefits from eating well again.

Note: When I’m not a good example, I’m a fair warning and there is always a silver lining.

Cheers!

Penny

Two Shots and a Shake

May 31, 2019 by Penny Leave a Comment

A few weeks ago Ron went on a week long business trip. He sets out my shot, shake and LLV (Life Long Vitality supplements) every morning. We cheers the day (he does a shot too), I take my LLV with my shake and off we go!

While he was gone, I didn’t take care of myself. Not only did I go without my morning routine, I did not eat well. Poor man came home excited for a road trip to Northern California for his son’s co-ed wedding shower only to discover me coming down with something. Allergies? A head cold? Who knows? I’ll be completely transparent and confess I took an OTC (over-the-counter) remedy for the nose and eyes issue only to develop a rash on my tummy! Crap!!

Positive side of eating clean and doing my shot, shake and LLV; I feel great!

Negative side of not eating clean, blowing off my morning routine, and taking OTC medicine; bloating, aches, rash, feel sick and have no energy.

I’ve been back to my disciplined routine this week and I’m feeling much better again.

Lesson learned.

Be Well,

Penny

Penny

I thought a lot last month about single dads.

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