“There are people in your life
Who’ve come and gone
They let you down
You know they’ve hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby
‘Cause life goes on
You keep carryin’ that anger
It’ll eat you up inside baby”
By the way, we have an oil for that!
Behind my thoughts from yesterday, I thought I’d add what I think is one of life’s most difficult lessons to learn and gain proficiency in, Forgiveness.
The propensity to forgive seems to be tied somewhat to temperament. I only raised one child. So, when it came time to be a grandma to two boys, it was a whole new experience. For those of you who have littles, you know the current method of “time out” discipline. The routine is one minute for every year old, ask if he’s ready to say “I’m sorry”, if yes hug it out and go on with the day. One of the kids got to “I’m sorry” a lot faster than the other one. The one who took the longest hated not getting his way in the first place and it made him doubly angry to be put in a time out. He had to forgive me before he was going to ask me for forgiveness!! The other one was faster to take responsibility for putting himself in the situation, faster to say “I’m sorry”, and the hugging it out part was warmer and more sincere.
I’ve come to learn in the past few years that although I believe I’ve learned to forgive and do it well in most cases, sometimes I struggle. Also, I do things that sometimes causes others consternation while they work out forgiving me. I’m working on letting go of the outcome when someone finds my behavior unforgiveable. The choice someone else makes is entirely beyond my control. Is there such a thing as forgiving someone for not forgiving me? There must be. In those moments when my little guy was struggling with forgiving me, I never stopped loving him. The process was about his growth, not my ego. My prayer is that I can love others the same way I love that little kid, that I can go without forgiveness and continue to yearn for their higher good. As you know, it’s not easy. It’s difficult.
Working through forgiveness or being forgiven is one of those times when you might hear several good suggestions; listen to good music with powerful lyrics and a moving melody, meditate, pray, engage in talk therapy, energy work, or read a great book. Someone may suggest talking it out with the other person or asking for mediation. And, of course, we could apply the Peace and/or Forgive oils which would set our intentions, help our bodies through the process and calm our minds. You heard it coming, but, at the end of the day it isn’t about a simple prescription or silver bullets. There are many options and it takes effort to weed through them and determine what works for you. It takes discipline to keep trying and tenacity to apply the practices that work. The good news is, although life is difficult, living well is definitely worth the effort!